Growing means we outgrow ourselves

It is hard sometimes to fully grasp that the answers to our prayers are not what we thought they would look like. Very rarely have I ever seen exactly what I prayed for unfold as I wanted or thought it would. God’s ways are always more than our expectations and we can never be disappointed by them being less than what we asked. That right there is exciting, it’s amazing and yet we can still find a reason to be disappointed because of our “in the box thinking”.

More often than not, I realize that He just isn’t going to drop something in my lap packaged nice and neat to appease my natural sight. That would be too easy and frankly an answer to MY desire, but is it really what He wants for me? God is a great craftsman and He carefully crafts out His plans step by step down to the very last detail. He doesn’t miss a thing, but in our human limitations, we can and sometimes we do. We have to see beyond our ability and our desire to see His plan, His desire, His will and that means sometimes we have to grow out of the very thing we asked for. Honestly, to see beyond our natural requires us to grow and sometimes we are more than ready for that growth, yet we are not ready for the pruning that must come before it. This is why He just doesn’t drop nice and neat gifts in our laps because than we will always be confined to a system, a thought system that will always confine us.

Some of the hardest things for us to outgrow and move on are people and places. This can be both disappointing, heartbreaking and difficult to understand why God would think this is necessary. If you are wondering why this is necessary than I can say with full confidence that these things we hold on to become the hinderances to our growth. Why? Because these things have become our comfort zones, our refuges, our familiar and sometimes our idols. Without us even realizing that this box has also became our prison. A place where we are surviving, but not thriving. Far too long, we have lived by the saying “Bloom where you are planted” and ran with it as if it is the key to our spiritual growth. But let me shed a little light on that phrase, when we are fully planted in HIM (abiding in the branch) is only when we “bloom” because apart from Him, His light and His living waters we wither. I’m not saying those places or people are bad or work against us, what I’m saying is this these places/people we hold on to will cause us to work against Him, not by their doing, but by our disobedience.

Instead, his delight is in the Lord’s instruction, and he meditates on it day and night.

He is like a tree planted beside flowing streams that bears fruit in its season and whose leaf does not wither.

Whatever he does prospers.

Psalm 1:2-4 CSB

Growing also means that we will also outgrow ourselves. Our routines, mindsets, limitations and boundaries that have became apart of the old season. These things have no role in what His plan for our next season of our growth holds. We aren’t meant to remain the same (glory to glory remember?), but we are meant to remain in Him. We won’t always produce the same amount of fruit and for some of us, it won’t even be the same kind of fruit, but we will always produce (just as the scripture above states).

So trust when He tells you to let go and trust when He says He has better because it’s true. It’s not in no way diminishing the last place or people you were growing with in the past. It’s just that His better differs much more than our better. Remember, He is the one who will do exceedingly and abundantly above all we can ask or think. Take Him at His word because I can guarantee you, it does get much better than this!

Returning to my first Love

Towards the end of last year, I joined an online mentoring community. I knew that when I signed on for the season that it was going to be a game changer for me, but I just didn’t realize the depth of the change that was about to take place. It was definitely a deep healing process in that season and I’m grateful for the space that was created to allow vulnerability and rawness to be displayed without judgement. The people I have met through this community have been amazing and I’m so blessed by the love of God shown through them.

In this season, I had 3 different people give me the same prophetic word “Return to your first love“. Typically when we hear that phrase we associate it with turning back to God. I was left kind of confused on what it meant because truthfully I have never felt so close to God, so I did what you are suppose to do and pray about it. Of course, it’s just like the Father to keep you in suspense for a bit, but I think He was actually wanting me to go deeper.

A week or so later as I was doing my course work and interceding for the nation, this big light bulb when off . That ‘aha’ moment finally arrived and I was left in tears because I finally saw exactly what He meant. Returning to my first love was a call to not return to Him, but to return to the first place where I heard His voice. This place is also the place where I first found my voice, prayer.

Intercession and prayer is the first place I truly felt and experienced Him unlike any other. It was in this place that He drew me near to Him and allowed me to see a glimpse of His heart. Prayer became the place I fell in love with His heart and His presence as He shared His burdens so I could partner with Him. Isn’t that such a beautiful thing? The God who created the universe wanted me to partner with Him. Before this, I always thought prayer was just something you did to ask for stuff or just a simple thank you. I never knew that prayer was a multifaceted fellowship comprised of intimacy with the Father. He became the place I cherished and prayer became my first love.

Prayer is something that I just loved to do and a place I loved to be in. I thought it was just another step to get me to the next part of my faith walk. Over the years I left that place behind because I didn’t understand this was the call placed on my life and also around that time, I entered a wilderness season. That was such a hard season because I never been through one before and there was such a loneliness and I didn’t even want to be in that place of prayer. To be completely honest, I felt abandoned by those who mentored me in this gift and by God. I was isolated and upset that He left me by myself. Looking back, I understand that He had a plan and I was never alone.

My heart has been healed and feels so much lighter than it used to. That’s what the wilderness season was all about, restoring my battered heart. God knew that He could only use me so far with all the pain I carried. He had to restore the broken pieces, heal the bruised ones, remove the debris that polluted it and make my heart whole again. That’s when I began feeling that tug back to His heart and I have been going back to that secret place, but I noticed that not only is the place different, so am I. I have picked up the mantle, so to speak, that I left discarded due to my own selfish and lost emotions. Returning to my first love is going back to the fire, love and passion that He consumed me with; prayer and intercession. It’s also given me the confidence to once again use my voice, but this time in a way I haven’t before. With Boldness.

Maybe God is calling you to return to your first love. Worship, writing, singing, dancing or whatever it may be and I pray that you heed to the call and go. If there was ever an hour for His zeal and love to consume us, it is now. Not only do we need it, but so does the world!

The Narrow Gate

It is in the difficult seasons, we are pressed, squeezed and tested.  This not only shows us where our faith lies but helps us understand our weaknesses.  The difficult seasons are the pruning seasons because all the extra baggage that we carry does not allow us to fit in a narrow path.  Something must be left behind so that we fit His design and not allow our design to fit Him.

We, in our human nature, tend to lean towards the easy, the broad and the fast way. The least risk, the better right? Actually no.  That is not the kingdom way, but it is the way of the world, which does not serve us at all. This broad way is comfortable, you may even say peaceful, but it is a false peace and security. Those who love their lives, are the ones to choose the broad gate to keep their earthly vessels and desires. This way leads to death designed to keep us from reaching the life Jesus died for us to have.

Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.

Matthew 7:13-14 CSB

One thing I began to understand from reading this scripture is that the narrow gate brings our earthly vessels to die while our spirits live.  We lose our life to find our eternal one full of His promises. The life that God intended us to have before we were ever formed in our mother’s womb. A life that may at times seem so uncertain and unsecure, but full of promises of hope, peace and reward. A life that flourishes and thrives, not a life of barely getting by and trying to survive.

Jesus didn’t just choose the narrow gate, He is the narrow gate. He previously instructed us to follow Him, which will lead us to eternal life, but I firmly believe He is saying going through Him is the only way to enter in. Few will find this narrow gate because they are looking for the easy life that is to say that it is going to be feel lonely and difficult, but taking up our cross was never promised to be easy. He actually says “the way is hard that leads to life”.

He was persecuted, pressed, mocked and scorn.  He took the way full of trials, obstacles, but He also received His eternal reward (life after resurrection), this same reward that He made available for us. We will also face trials, obstacles, scorn and mockery (each of us to a different degree) because we chose the narrow gate, when we chose Jesus. BUT He also said to be of good cheer because He overcame each one of them and by this so will we.

So let me leave you with one last thought:

We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed: we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down but not destroyed–

2 Corinthians 4:8-9 NKJV

But Test The Spirits

Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world. 1 John 4:1

Test the spirits has become such a weapon against the prophets and prophetic voices. Many have taken this word not as a sword, but a battering ram to their fellow brethren all in the name of “being biblical.”

Test the spirits does not give anyone free reign to bash, accuse, slander or judge the person. I’m pretty confident in saying that this verse tells you to test the spirit FIRST before ever partnering with it. Not judge it AFTER you have believed it and didn’t come to pass. There has to be accountability on both ends. The one giving the word and the one receiving it.

If you received the word given, partnered with it and prayed into it then you would know the spirit it was in. But if you just took it at face value with no testing on your end, why blame someone else? You don’t get to have NO accountability for not doing what the word told us to do beforehand and then use this same verse to judge or slander the person afterwards.

Discernment has to come before you partner with any word given or you’ll end up partnering with the wrong spirit and operating in it as well. Remember our battle is not against flesh and blood.

Light Be

The nation is full of darkness and things are looking bleak. Some may even say that it is void of hope, faith and even God. But for me, I have a different perspective. My eyes are not blind to what’s going on around me, but my heart is. My heart is focused and intent on seeing only God.

We are all waiting on what God is going to do and quite a few have just stopped waiting and accepted what is. That’s not me at all. I’m confident in what He spoke and His word does exactly what HE says it’s going to do.

So let me flip the script a bit here, what would you say if I told you God is waiting on what YOU are going to do? Do we really believe that God just says and does and that requires us just to sit, wait and not do? I really hope not because that is exactly the kind of mindset that kills faith and hope.

I believe God is seeking and searching to draw out His light so that He can proclaim “Light Be”! This will cause His glory to be manifested for the nation to see. But if that’s the case, what light is He seeking and searching for, well that would be us.

We are His light and we are to be. As in come in to existence, to fill the void and penetrate the darkness casting it away. Our nation is groaning for the sons and daughters of Light to be manifested on earth. The very darkness of the hope deferred is crying out for light, for us to show them Hope again.

He is saying my creative word (light) needs you to come into existence (be) so that I can manifest My glory. (Light Be).

God is looking for those to partner with Him in this hour. Those who will be and not tarry until He comes. He is looking for His light-bearers who are ready to carry His light into the darkness.

Rest in this Moment

As this year is winding down to a close, I feel there is a need for us to rest. Abba is about to do something momentous in the new year and this resting moment is vital for us.

Rest is to cease from action and we know that 2020 has brought a lot of action especially in the form of warfare. We’ve been full of motion, constant motion at that because it was as if we slowed down one bit, we would lose the ground we gained, no matter how big or small. I know for me, this is how I felt and it’s been a weary warring season, but holding the line was the position I had to take…. until now.

I’m reminded of 2 Samuel 7:1 when King David was given rest from His enemies. Rest in this verse means to draw breath. I really feel this impression that Abba is saying that we need to draw His breath and we can only do that in the position of rest. He is inviting us into an intimate rest with Him so that we can lean in and receive His pneuma.

Velocity: the speed of something in a given direction.

A few months ago, and most recently I heard Abba say that He is “coming in full velocity”. 2021 is going to be a season of acceleration and we have to be ready for it. If we fail to stop and catch His breath now then we will be struggling to catch up instead of being caught up. Don’t get me wrong, we still have lots of work to be done, but this is our “take a breather moment”. He is giving us a respite and we’d be foolish not to take it.

Make no mistake, 2021 we are going to hit the ground running. It’s going to be full of momentum and we have much to gain. Loss is not our portion any longer. We have endured, we have stood, we have warred and now it’s time to possess. We need to be able to run and not grow weary, but in order to do that we need to bind ourselves to Him first.

Accept His invitation of intimacy and rest. Breathe Him in and let His spirit revitalize yours and enjoy this moment to just be. There is a moment to rise up, but today He is saying “be still.”

Changing of the Guard

When Moses struck the rock the 2nd time (Numbers 20:11) not only did he disobey the Lord, but God didn’t find him to be trusted to regard Him as Holy to bring this assembly into the promise land. Moses deprived God of His glory as he exalted himself and misused His authority (rod) by striking the rock. He was to make a decree before the people that would bring forth the Holy waters of Jehovah to the people and they would glorify God. BUT Moses made it about him and not about God, by doing what he did before and not the new thing God told him to do.

This is how I see the current state of the church is. They are misusing their authority and exalting themselves instead of God. They are withholding the living water and the not declaring the Word of the Lord. The water is from striving and laboring creating their own flow and not His. They are trusting in what has worked before and not moving in obedience leaving the church parched and weak.

Let’s be honest, we’ve all reached a point where we just want to hit something and there’s nothing wrong with that (unless it’s someone). Maybe Moses was tired or he was frustrated with the people constantly complaining. The problem was Moses admonished the people out of his own heart and misrepresented God’s. God doesn’t want leaders misrepresenting Him, exalting themselves and most definitely doesn’t want someone in authority who doesn’t follow His.


I heard the Lord say He is raising up Joshuas in this hour to bring this church into the promise land. They are those God is entrusting to not only lead, but regard Him holy to the people. These Joshuas will be filled with the spirit and carry a portion of Moses’ authority. They are those, who in the wilderness lingered in His presence. They are filled by His spirit to lead them out of the wilderness and bring them into the promise land.

The Joshuas will be of strong mind and determination to keep the command given to them by the Lord. They will prove to be prosperous in the way of The Lord and not the world. The Joshuas will lead the church to posses what the Lord has given into their hard. They will know when to decree and when to strike. They won’t be moved by trying to appease the people, they will only please God.

The church will possess what God has promised, but He needs Joshuas who will lead without fear and confusion. Those that, no matter what it may look like, they know God is with them wherever they go. They will lead the church into battle and know when they need to be still.

The Joshuas are coming out of the wilderness with an army with them. They will move forward not looking to the left or the right. They are those who God is setting apart to bring reformation and once again establish His name as Holy and above all.

It’s time for a changing of the guard.

We Are His Ekklesia

Back in June of this year, Abba was really speaking to me about the church, our identity and our purpose. I’ve held on to these words and never shared them with anyone except my husband, but I feel it’s the season to release. As we prepare to leave 2020 behind and move into 2021, our identity and purpose must be established.

The Word of the Lord: “You have been established by me. You shall be established in me and you will establish my purpose. The year of Peh is the year of establishing, creating, executing, commanding, breathing, declaring framing and proclaiming by My spirit. There are those who establish and those who will deconstruct what I am building. My words create not destroy. My words breathe not choke. My words speak not muzzle.”

We are His breath, His speech, His creation and therefore we do not destroy, choke or muzzle His purpose. We are His word, which does not return void. We will prosper and will accomplish all that He sent us out to do. It’s by His spirit and power in us that gives us the ability to carry our identities and fulfill His purpose.

The Church is not a building. The Ekklesia is MY building.

His building is speaking of us being His workmanship. (For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10.) But not only are we His building, we are His builders too, which leads us to Isaiah 58:12-13. I did a word study and this is what I got:

“Those from among you (the followers of Jesus) shall build up the old ruins and raise up the foundations (building who’s foundation alone remains) of the past generations. And you the prophet shall be the hedge in the breach and restorer of the pathway that leads those to sit in heavenly places.”

As His Ekklesia, we sit in heavenly places with authority given to us by Christ Jesus. This is our call. This is our purpose to bring the church back to its original mandate: to sit in Heavenly places and to once again have dominion and subdue the earth. It’s only by His spirit that we partner with prayers, decrees and words of past generations to raise up an remnant that will establish His will on earth and not compromise or settle for anything less.

We are reformers. We are trailblazers. We are sent ones. We are the voices carrying the keys of Heaven and the blueprints of the Kingdom. We have the authority to bring Heaven down to earth and as we lead others to their position of authority, we will accomplish what He has commissioned us to do. We will be His governing body, His ekklesia.

“I give you the name Peter, a stone. And this truth of who I am will be the bedrock foundation on which I will build my church—my legislative assembly, and the power of death will not be able to overpower it! I will give you the keys of heaven’s kingdom realm to forbid on earth that which is forbidden in heaven, and to release on earth that which is released in heaven.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭16:18-19‬ ‭TPT‬‬

Embrace My Pressure

The other morning I woke up with this intense desire to be in the presence of the Lord. Every distraction that could possibly be, was. From my dog barking without ceasing, my cats deciding at that moment to fight outside my prayer room, to the neighbors across the street playing music so loud and honking this loud annoying horn continuously was frustrating.

I was determined and was not going to be deterred by all these distractions, so I just sat and worshipped until everything began to fade into the background and I felt this stillness and peace enter my space. I had a lot on my heart, but first and foremost, I was in desperate longing to just be in His presence. That was all my heart desired.

After a few minutes, almost immediately The Lord began to speak and it was like a gush of waters coming forth, my hand could hardly keep up writing it all down. It was like He had been waiting for this moment. I’ll be honest here, I definitely hadn’t been keeping our secret place moments lately. No excuse I could say would validate me, so I won’t give you one.

My pressure becomes your driving force for breakthrough..

One of the things I heard the Lord talking about was pressure and how we tend to fear it. We see it most of the time as this force that leaves us crippling and weak. But Abba said “embrace the pressure. Embrace MY pressure because it becomes the driving force for your breakthrough. My pressure doesn’t cause you to buckle, but causes you to birth. The pressure is needed to push through so that the new life can receive My breath upon it.”

Then He gave me a vision of a child being birthed. In that vision, I understood why our perspective of pressure must change. It’s His pressure that is bringing forth a new beginning and when we embrace His pressure we will embrace what He has birthed in us. Our hearts become entwined with this new life that we would do anything to protect and nurture so that it will flourish. It’s not just something we carried, but it also carried a part of who we are.

Just like in child birth, the pressure is when the birth comes. Sure it’s painful, it’s uncomfortable, but the joy of embracing that new life is worth temporary discomfort. So don’t detest the pressure and don’t shy away from it. Recognize His pressure and embrace it.

“We are like common clay jars that carry this glorious treasure within so that the extraordinary overflow of power will be seen as God’s, not ours. Though we experience every kind of pressure, we’re not crushed. At times we don’t know what to do, but quitting is not an option.”

2 Corinthians 4:7-8 TPT

My people perish…

“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge…” Hosea 4:6

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge…” Proverbs 1:17

We’ve become a house of worldly culture built on the fear on man. Vying for relevancy, popularity and being “woke”. The problem is not being “woke” it’s having ever fallen asleep to begin with. We veiled our eyes and shut our bibles and became comfortable with “tips to live a good christian life” seminars. A life that is so full of ourselves that we have little or no room for Him. Inspiring pep talks that don’t bring transformation, but rather conformation.

Caution has been taken to not cross the wrong lines so we straddle the fence not realizing that a side has already been chosen. We balk at the idea of teaching anything that’s “controversial or adversary”, not understanding that the Bible is full of both. We misunderstood that peacemaker is not someone who keeps the peace or doesn’t stir the waters. The Bible defines it properly, a peacemaker, bravely declares God’s terms which makes someone whole. How can we make people whole when we are feeding them half truths? We can’t and Jesus knew it.

“Don’t think for a moment that I came to grant peace and harmony to everyone. No, for my coming will change everything and create hostility among you.”

Luke 12:52 TPT

Jesus was the dividing line. Kingdom of God vs Kingdom of the world. Never compromising the Word of God. Never forgetting why He came. Never fearing man. He remained in the fear of the Lord and delighted in His ways always even when testing came.

But us, well we became a people who delight in our own ways and justify our worldly behavior by a number on a quiz. We live by the likeness dictated by someone’s formed opinions instead of the likeness by the One of who we were formed by. We know more about our worldly selves than we do about the One who created the world and who God created us to be. We’ve reduced ourselves to a number type and opinion when we were lifted to a standard of Truth.

Every day that we don’t recognize and honor the Lord is another day our spirits perish. Another day that we become less like Him and more like the world. We become withering trees producing dead fruit having no life.

Friends, I implore you to search your heart as I have searched mine. Lay your fear of man, tolerance and compromise at the altar and repent. Return your heart to Him and bring life back to your spirit. His coming is at hand and I pray that you be found in favor of the Lord.

I know that you delight to set your truth deep in my spirit. So come into the hidden places of my heart and teach me wisdom. Purify my conscience! Make this leper clean again! Wash me in your love until I am pure in heart.”

Psalm 51:6-7 TPT